Family Dynamics

Caring for elderly parents is the norm here in Hawai‘i, with complicated family dynamics adding to our struggles.

So many people in Hawai‘i, particularly boomers and Gen Xers, are or will be caring for at least one of their parents. Just among our HONOLULU staff, five of us have parents needing help. What’s significant is that many of us involved in such caretaking are struggling—my sister and I included. When conversations about our parents come up, there’s often a concern we’re falling short, burning out and needing support.

Looking after kūpuna is a longstanding practice here in Hawai‘i.

That’s what’s behind this month’s cover story, “What Should We Do About Our Parents?” What makes parental caregiving so tough is that it’s not just about the tasks. There’s often emotional baggage stemming from complicated family dynamics, and sadness from witnessing sharp physical and mental declines. My sister and I have been caring for our 87-year-old mother since she fractured her hip in the summer of 2022, had surgery, and still struggles to take steps. We have full-time home health aides who care for her during the day, but it’s still been difficult. ​​Just a few years ago, my mother walked her dog 3 miles a day, took senior Zumba classes and picked up my daughter from school.

Looking after kūpuna is a longstanding practice here in Hawai‘i. But what’s changed is that more family caregivers ​today​ have jobs outside the home. And as they juggle professional and personal responsibilities, it’s good to know that there are people and organizations here advocating for changes and additional resources. Reading about the Suzuki family, featured in this issue, was also heartening. Instead of focusing on what’s hard, ​​the Suzukis ​​see a silver lining: Their family has grown closer, their bonds deeper.

Year-End Acknowledgments

It’s hard to believe 2024 is nearly over. In thinking about the past year, what comes to mind are the challenges and accomplishments of our whole HONOLULU team. Although several of my editorial colleagues are widely known, the efforts of many on our masthead are largely behind the scenes. Yet, without their contributions, there would be no magazine, website, events, social media and newsletters.

Our team is smaller than years past, but we still produced 10 issues of the print magazine, an issue of HONOLULU Family, a regularly updated HONOLULU website that includes Frolic Hawai‘i content, four weekly newsletters, three Instagram accounts and three Facebook pages. Our sales and marketing team also organized more than a dozen events, and secured key sponsorships, partnerships and advertising that keeps our operations running.

So, in alphabetical order, I want to acknowledge the people behind our magazine:

Christy Davis, marketing director: I have no idea how she handles the logistics and stress of organizing so many HONOLULU events—and she does it with such precision.

Donnie Ford, advertising executive: Holds invaluable knowledge about our brand, its roots and our place in the city.

​​​Elroy Garcia, copy editor: Our secret weapon for fact checking and polishing our stories.

Marisa Heung, branded content creation manager: Writes, produces video, rolls out marketing campaigns and so much more—all really well.

Donna Kodama-Yee, publisher: Leads our HONOLULU ship with a fair, steady hand, while being kind and responsive to all of us.

Christine Labrador, senior art director: Works quietly, but consistently impresses with her artistic flair.

Andrea Lee, digital editor: The youngest member of our editorial team who manages our digital operations like a seasoned boss.

James Nakamura, creative director: In many ways, the heart of HONOLULU who devotes himself to making sure our magazine appears vibrant and polished.

Thomas Obungen, associate editor: Who we turn to for social media insight and the latest on what’s happening around the city. He keeps us relevant and fun.

Michelle Okada, client relationship manager: Our invaluable ad traffic controller, who keeps everything organized.

Michelle Stofle, strategic partnerships: Knocks out many of our biggest deals and is a true people-person, with warmth for everyone.

Mari Taketa, dining editor: Among the most talented writers I know. Her commitment to Frolic is why it’s ​become​ Hawai‘i’s leading dining source.

Brie Thalmann, managing style editor: Who we go to when we need a good eye for anything, and no one has a better pulse on our local fashion scene than her.

Katrina Valcourt, executive editor: Keeps our trains running, managing schedules and our content. I call her “the closer” because her superpower is finalizing the magazine before we print.

Don Wallace, contributing editor: Rolled out our inaugural HONOLULU Book Awards with unrivaled knowledge about Hawai‘i’s writers and books.

Aaron K. Yoshino, photographer: Executes his many assignments with passion and artistic vision.